Depression
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I am very behind in posting as well as visiting all of my fav bloggers. I have been dealing with someone who I love very much who is a relative. She is trapped in the system of “workman’s comp”, which mean she is on way too many meds, each one causing side affects that are affecting her mental stability and ability to think or act in a rational manner. I am 1000’s of miles away and have spent all of my days on the phone trying to get her to the the hospital. Her immediate family has rejected her…refusing to even drive her to the hospital. She has no one nearby to support or help her and she has fallen into deep depression.
I’m writing about this because I know what this feels like. When you are unstable emotionally and mentally, those around you have no clue as to how to help and they see the way you behave as something horrible. They can’t see that how you are behaving is not “you”, it is the disease. I’m angry at her parents, I’m angry at the system that just writes her yet another prescription and I’m angry at the people who have been using and abusing her due to her inconsistent behavior.
As Oprah has talked about many times on her show (and I am so grateful she has) when you know someone who is dealing with emotional and mental issues and is very depressed…don’t walk away. Find someone who can help them, let them know you are there for them, even if you have no idea how to help. Help them get to professional help.
It is a viscious cycle…you are deeply depressed feeling there is nothing in life for you, so you act out or hide away. Folks around you leave you becasue it makes them uncomfortable, then seeing them leave you throws you even deeper into depression.
Especially as women, we try to keep on going for our kids and we get into that place of survival and we don’t seek help. As women, we need to reach out to other women. I know that sometimes the behavior of someone in need is not pleasent and you just wish you could slap some sense into them…but they can’t see what they are doing. They surely can’t treat themselves on their own.
I was lucky, I got through mine and healed without the use of medication. I had the very loving support of a husband and my kids. I am extremely grateful that they never walked away. But, this one that is so dear to me has a long ways to go, a lot of work ahead and some very weary days in front of her.
If you know someone who is struggling with depression, reach out - you can’t change things for them, but the energy of your love and support does help and work.
And if you are reading this and you are struggling with deep depression, call and ask for help, it is not a sign of weakness, it does not mean you are a bad person. NO matter who you are, you are worth help and the real “you” is there, wanting to live and thrive. The actions caused by the disease is not WHO you are. You are loved.
My love and support go out to all who suffer from this….
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March 6th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
This is a really touching post (I hurt for her just from reading your words). I suspect you are making a HUGE difference for her in how you are reaching out to help her. I think sometimes when we help those who are depressed, it may seem like we are getting no where at times, but despite that, I think it does affect them with a positive spark. Does this make sense?
March 6th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
L.S. Thank you for this - I was able to track down 2 people I know who live near her and they are willing to help. She has become very sick with a kidney infection and the doctors fear her going into the hospital could result in her getting a staff infection. She is very weak and still alone, but I am utilizing all the services I can in getting someone over to her home to help her. I agree with you, many times in dealing with her, it seems I make things worse or it does seem I am getting no where..but I recall how important it was in my life when there were those who just showed that they cared!
March 7th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
God bless you, for this post and for the struggle you are dealing with! Depression is a terrible thing!
March 8th, 2008 at 7:57 pm
In my work as a school psychologist I deal with serious depression on a regular basis. My husband lost his best friend to suicide over the summer dues to depression-such a heartbreak.
Your family member is so fortunate to have you, along with your experience and wisdom in support of her.
Take care, Heather