Letting Go of Old Scripts
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I have had an amazing week of revelations and blessings. In spending the time to learn more about my mom, in seeing with new eyes some of the dynamics that were going on in my childhood and with my sibling, I was able to cut the cord of a non-beneficial old family script.
What does that mean?
First off, we all can reinvent who we are and how we feel about family at any time. Sometimes it doesn’t feel that we can, if we feel vulnerable and trapped in the way others view us. But, all facts are impermanent. Reality is continually in motion and when it seems that facts are frozen in time, that is simply an illusion created by the stories we continue to tell and live by.
Sometimes, there are family narratives that we need to let go of in order to change and become more of who we really are.
I see women in mid-life doing this. We have to cut the cords that bind us energetically to old scripts that no longer serve us.
The thing is, if we don’t, even if we may not associate or have a relationship with someone in the family who was causing us pain, we will continue to attract in our lives people who are exactly the same way and we will re-live the negative relationship over and over. Until we cut the cord and let go of that old script.
I was talking with a woman a few days ago who kept going back to the things her mom says to her and how she is seen and treated by her family. She is a mid-life woman (I think I want to create a new label for mid-life woman because, we are so amazing at mid-life and the label doesn’t do us justice…!!)
She is desiring a new start in her life, she is working on a new business and she wants her family to see her in a new way…but she can’t get past talking about “how it is”.
Thats why we get stuck.
We keep seeing ourselves in the “how it is”. Those stories are imprinted in our energy fields. They run our thoughts about ourselves and about life. Family relationships seem to get stuck in cement and we get all cozy comfy with how we relate to each other and we don’t like it when someone changes…especially if their change rocks our dysfunctional boat! (or, our change rocks their dysfunctional boat!) It goes both ways.
But, if you are striving to change, to stop being viewed a certain way, to re-invent yourself (at mid-life women stop looking and giving outward in always helping others and begin looking inward to how to be and nurture themselves) then one place to start is in seeing what family scripts are keeping you feeling trapped and in a negative place.
We can’t change others, nor do we need to for us to let go and move on.
But there are things we can do.
An energy tie that is negative drains us of our power. First, we need to release the anger and judgment we may be holding on to. Any old resentments are still imprinted in our energy field. It is like having a parasite feeding off of you, taking your vital nutrients and energy.
Who has wronged or hurt you?
Can you at this point sincerely forgive them for what occurred? Sometimes it takes time. We can say, yes, I forgive, but saying it and making that ’shift’ inside our bodies are two different things. Sometimes we need to go through the various phases of anger, sadness, grief and see what within our self allowed them to treat us the way they did before we can fully let go. Allow yourself the time to feel the feelings and to see yourself differently.
Then, when you are ready, take a deep breath and while releasing it, say to yourself, “I bless and release you”
Every person in our life is there for a reason. No matter how they treated us, no matter what took place between us, at a soul level, it was agreed upon for it to happen and we can learn something from it. Ask yourself this question: What was I believing about myself (that I no longer wish to believe) that that person’s behavior mirrored back to me?
How we are treated is due to how we feel about ourselves.
The next step when we get to the point of being able to release the person is to get relaxed, close your eyes and feel in your body “where” that energy cord is tied to you.
Is it around your throat? Were you not able to speak up for yourself or tell your truth?
Is it around your heart? Around your ankles? You will see it and know what area it was connected to. See yourself cutting the cord, tossing it away and freeing yourself.
Visuals are very powerful. Our subconscious doesn’t use words, it uses images and what you “imagine” it sees as reality.
There is no longer need to rehash or tell that story. It is no longer “you”. That person may never change, or they just might want a completely different relationship with you. But, that is not the point. The point is that you are now free of an old script and you can create the changes you desire in your lfe.
I am inviting you to share your experiences or questions on this topic. I’ll be sharing more of my personal experiences. There is no need to feel consumed by old dramas and stuck in old nightmares. We have dreams to fulfill!!
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May 19th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
My imprinted scripts are hard, hard, hard to break up and release because they are being re-imprinted over time by me, by others in my life, by the genetic influence of my ancestral DNA, by the collective consciousness, by Larry, Mo and Curly. There’s a reason why they are called imprinted. They are deep in my psyche cement and they give me something external to blame for my unhappiness and dissatisfaction with my life and the lives of others around me. WAIT A MINUTE. You’re telling me I can alter this by consciously changing and releasing my perception of my reality? OK. I’ll bite. My imprinted scripts are easy, easy, easy to break up and release because I am part of that magical flow in the universe that chooses to be happy, happy, happy. Hm. I like the way that makes me feel! Hey, way to go Ashley! You’ve made a positive difference in my life and I WANT MORE of these new and improved imprints. Thank you!